Okay, so...enough about cups and chicks, or Aggies and head injuries (if you don't know what I'm talking about...scroll down).  I gotta vent.

Seriously, I'm not trying to say that I was "in the right" when I repeatedly punched a random person in the face on saturday night, I'm just saying that people shouldn't be pissed off at me, but I might be getting ahead of myself...

Every guy has been in that situation where two people are fighting(or arguing, or shoving each other like pussies) and they think "Somebody should break those two up."  I'd be willing to bet that most girls have been in the same situation and thought "Why did I come here?"  To make a long story short...I tend to be that guy that you see travel (at varrying speeds depending on escalation, and my level of sobriety) across the room and end the problem, again...with varrying degrees of success. 

Now Saturday night happened to be one of those times when I was completely content to sit back and allow other people to deal with it as, A. I had my girlfriend with me, and B. The one guy really deserved the ass kicking he was taking.  That being said, when your best friend takes a sucker punch to the mouth while trying to break things up...you can't really let that one go.  Granted it turned out to be an accident, as the perpetrator was actually trying to grab on to the guy he was holding back...but i didn't know that at the time.

Needless to say I feel kinda bad about making a full grown man sit down at a table for Easter dinner with his adolecent daughter and try to explain why Daddy's face is slightly misaligned...just not bad enough to not use the story for a mediocre at best blog about how freaking sweet I am.

Two Aggies walk in to a bar...If you want to know the punch line, be at the Howling Coyote on January 25th.

I know that it will come as no suprise to many of you, but for those who are unaware, my favorite pastime is figuring out how people get themselves so deeply involved in hobbies. I myself have a little coin collection and have no plans of getting out of control with it. its actually just a small jewlrey box with pennies in it. Not really a collection, more of an "wow thats an old penny" pile. every few months I go through the box and move back the date on my collection. it started out as keeping any penny older than I am, after a year or two I got down to the early 70's, now I only keep a penny if it is as old as my dad.

Thats how my little quirk began. Recently, as I lay in bed I began thinking about a conversation I had with a friend a few months ago. The "core" exhibition at Rocbar had me thinking...how does a person get "into" having hooks shoved through flesh of their back and suspended from a ceiling. I do get the fact that some people recieve pleasure from the suspension. What I fail to grasp is how they get to a place in their lives where they are positioned to DISCOVER they recieve pleasure from being suspended. I mean, I have had some dumb ass ideas while sitting around a fire drinking beer with my friends but, as of yet, no one has assaulted me with meat hooks and hoisted me up an old oak tree. I can't Imagine someone just looking over at their friend and saying "You know what might be kinda cool..." and this friend being like "Hell Yeah, let me finish this beer, do you mind if I piss in your bushes?

Of course he doesn't mind if you piss in his bushes, he just asked you to sring him up like that dude in that movie with those famous people!!!!! If he asks you to pleach your hair...RUN!

However...this is not the point, nor what I was thinking about while laying in bed. I dont think about suspension while laying naked between the sheets...instead I was pondering the video "One cup, two Chicks."

If you have not seen the video, let me save you some time. You don't want to see it. If you still want to see it, go to www.cupchicks.com but don't say I didn't warn you.

So those of you who have a brain and figured "hey, if I keep reading I will find out what the video is about with out having to watch it, and then make a descision on whether or not I will watch the video, Here goes my train of thought!

What is it that makes females such sluts? Not all of you...relax. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with sex, even with strangers...but females will repeatedly call some other chick a slut for doing something...that they have done as well...so I started thinking...

Its NOT guys fault. There is NO way it is our fault.

Exhibit A: Men have been trying to get laid as quickly as possible since the dawn of women. However, over the course of approximately 3-5 generations (depending on the sluttitude of the women in your family) our culture has gone from "Don't have pre marital sex!" to "dont talk about pre-marital sex!" to "try not to video tape your pre-marital sex!" to "You havn't had pre-marital sex?" There are only two possible explainations for this feat. 1). Men under went a sudden massive shift in intelligence and now actually understand what women want to hear before removing their clothing (Highly Unlikely) or 2). Women got easier. (Any google search of "Paris Hilton" can confirm this scenario)

Now that we all agree women have gotten sluttier, we must examine how this rare gem came to be.

Personally I feel that it went something like this

Hot Blonde dates Guy A

Cute Brunette wants guy A, so she jerks off guy B (guy A's best friend) inhopes guy A will find out, and ask her out.

As the world continues turning Plain Jane finds out about Cute Brunette giving her Ex-boyfriend a hand job, to make him jealous she descides to blow his brother Guy C.

Meanwhile Brace face has a HUGE crush on guy C . As a member of the pep squad, she has heard the rumors about how much he loves Plain Jane's blow jobs, so she practices on a banana for a few months, even pretends to suck on balls by rolling up her gym sock...and then when she has the perfect technique she goes to see guy C at his house.

(quick interlude, by now Guy A is getting blow jobs from Hot Blonde to keep him happy)

Guy C has an issue. Brace face wants to blow him. Brace face, has braces. "look brace face, you are really sweet for coming all the way down here, and all, but honestly, I can't get a blow job from you." Guy C says

"why not?" she pleads

"Well, you have braces...and I am just a little scared."

Brace face flashes back to all of those practice hours, suddenly she realises, that stripping the flesh from the banana to get at its gooey insides was probably not what Guy C was looking for. Frantic for his approval Brace face throws out a life line.

"I could qive you a hand job?"

"No, thats okay, I can't downgrade looks AND play, but thanks for the offer" Guy C says.

"Wanna fuck?" she blurts out

Before either of them know what they are doing Guy C has blasted a hot load into Brace face's ovaries

Hot chicks across the planet scream. How can they combat this new scourage of not so ugly chicks being willing to put out on the first date!!!

OMG screams Guy D as he runs into the locker room. Fatty Boom Batty offered to let me fuck her in the ass!!!!

Thats nothing says guy E, Molly Mole Face just tossed my salad!!!

And that my friends is how you eventually end up with two chicks eating a cup of shit like its soft serve ice cream.