Let's call it a day and get outta here? Sound good? Yeah, I agree.... although it's hard for me to sneak out of work... it's kind of like the drive through operator at Whataburger... if they sneak out.. people tend to notice...

WACHOO THINK?
I've been watching a lot of the political stuff lately... reading a lot of web sites about the upcoming election. Trying to get the information I want, versus the information "they" try to give me. Lately I've noticed a lot of negative ads running, rather than ads that actually tell me something about the candidate. Political party aside... When you see negative ads, does it change the way you vote? You tell me.


EVER WONDER WHAT THEY THINK? LOVE YOU TOO HONEY....
Most Americans would prefer to be stranded on a deserted island with their pets than with their significant others. In fact, about two-thirds of the 1,100 pet owners who took the survey conducted by Petplan, a company that offers health insurance for dogs and cats, chose their pet over their partner. More than half of the responders say they throw parties for their animal companions, while 70% share their bed with them. Another 63% cook for their pets and 68% admit they dress up their furry friends. (National Examiner)

DON'T TAKE MY WORD FOR IT... THIS IS SCIENCE!
Women like men to lie! Yes it's true! Honesty isn't always the best policy between couples -- and that's the truth. A recent survey of 1,000 women by She magazine reveals these facts:

·         One-third don't want a man to tell them the real reason he's ditching them.

·         26 percent want to be lied to when they ask the question: "Does this dress make me look fat?"

·         A staggering 98 percent fib about their weight.

·         Just over 70 percent admitted they lie about how much booze they drink and how many cigarettes they smoke.

·         Three in 10 aren't honest about how many men they've slept with.

·         To avoid hurting their partner's feelings after lovemaking, 40 percent say they've had an orgasm when they haven't.

·         Forty percent have lied about their age.

SNOOZE FER YOU, MONDAY EDITION

Santa's Back in Town
The grandsons of Santa Claus made an appearance on Sunday in one of their favorite places -- Santa Claus, Indiana. The descendants of two of the more famous men to don Santa Claus costumes met to sign a new oath for other jolly gift-givers. Charles Bergeman is the grandson of Charles Howard, a famous Santa from Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in New York. Will Koch is the grandson of Jim Yellig, who is considered the "Santa Claus" of the Indiana town bearing the same name. The oath taken by the two men included a promise to create happiness, spread love and make dreams come to life in the tradition of St. Nick. It will be administered to every Kris Kringle attending the Celebrate Santa Convention in Gatlinburg, Tenn., in March.  (myway.com)

A Very Strange Tour
Ever wonder what happens after you flush the toilet? Well go ahead and plan a quick trip to Rhode Island! The state is now offering tours of several wastewater treatment facilities during what its dubbed the first annual "Rhode Island Water Infrastructure Month." Tours of treatment plants are in East Providence, Bristol and Narragansett. As part of the festivities, the Narragansett wastewater operators team, "Fecal Matters," also will compete in a national latrine-treating skills contest in Chicago against last year's champions, the Rocky Mountain "Commode Commandos." (myway.com)

I'll Take Half the House
In Cambodia, one couple has taken the concept of community property quite literally. When 42-year-old Moeun Sarim divorced his wife Vat Navy, they decided to split their possessions 50-50 -- which meant sawing their house in two! Vat says, "Very strange, but this is what my husband wanted." "He brought his relatives and used saws to cut the house in half," she said, adding that she now owns the other half that is still standing. Her ex and his relatives took his half to his parents' house nearby. Vat said the divorce was prompted by her husband's jealousy about her alleged relationship with a policeman in the village. She denied having an extramarital affair. Local officials and police were present as witnesses the day the couple split their 20-by-24 1/2 foot house into half. (myway.com)

No Real Way To Talk Your Way Out of Tying Up Teenagers
Despite what 29-year-old Ezra Wallace's reasoning is, he is being charged with assault after he allegedly tied with tape a teenage girl seated beside him in a Southwest Airlines San Diego-to-Denver flight last August. Wallace admitted that he was drunk when he bound the teenager. He added that he "never harmed anybody or had any bad intentions." He was also attempting to do the same with the teenager's younger sister, according to witnesses. Federal Judge Kristen Mix said there is enough evidence to proceed with two counts of assault charges against Wallace. During the incident, Wallace reportedly tried to take a photo of the older sister. The teenager hesitated and covered her face with her hands. A flight attendant saw the incident and moved the sisters to different seats near their brother. FBI agents arrested Wallace at the Denver airport. He was reported to have consumed vodka during the flight. (AHN News)

Turn This Man Over To PETA
We've got an idea for a good punishment for 41-year-old Brett Kolark of Pittsburgh. Turn him over to a mob of angry PETA members and see what happens. Kolark turned himself into police Friday after his neighbor, Debra Rogers, reported he fed meatballs laced with glass and nails to her dogs! Police told reporters that Kolarik fed the dogs the hazardous materials because he was tired of their incessant barking. The dogs, a beagle and a husky, required emergency surgery at a cost of $4,000. Both are home recovering. If convicted, Kolarik faces up to two years in jail per count of animal cruelty and he'd have to pay restitution to Rogers. (AHN News)

But I'm Too Fat to Execute
41-year-old Richard Cooey sits on Ohio's death row and he's got an interesting angle. He's claiming he's too fat to execute and argues, due to his obesity, lethal injection might not be properly administered to him and might be painful and slow because his physical condition will make it difficult to find a vein where the lethal drug will be injected. He is supposed to be executed on Tuesday for a double murder conviction and the Ohio Supreme Court and the 6th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals have ruled against staying the execution based on the "I'm too fat" defense. His lawyers will now appeal the decisions before the U.S. Supreme Court. Cooey was sentenced to death for killing two University of Akron students in 1986. His execution will be the first in Ohio since last year's moratorium on lethal injection was lifted by the U.S. Supreme Court in April. (AHN News)

Wrong Place To Get it On
23-year-old Dennis Cullen and his unnamed female companion picked the wrong place to have sex in their car. Not noticing several marked police cars in the other parking spaces nearby they pulled into an empty parking space right outside the main police station in Hellertown, Pennsylvania. The engine was still running in the early hours of the morning when a police officer tapped on the windshield. Dennis told police they had been drinking at a university function earlier in the evening so he was charged with DUI but so far, neither he nor his young lady friend were charged in connection with having sex in the car. (Ananova)

105-Year-Old Virgin
105-year-old Clara Meadmore of Cornwell County, England, says she decided as a child never to wed or have sex-- and insists she has never missed it. The world's oldest virgin told reporters, "I've just never been interested in or fancied having sex. I imagine there is a lot of hassle involved and I have always been busy doing other things." Clara was born in 1903 and spent her youth in Egypt, Canada and New Zealand before coming home in her 20s to become a secretary. She added, "I've never had a boyfriend or been bothered about relationships. When I was a girl you had sex only with your husband." She now lives in a nursing home and at this point, nobody is exactly lining up to change Clara's mind. (Morning Call News)

SECRET INFLUENCE OF COLOR

The colors you wear send not-so-subtle messages to everyone around you. They can soothe, flirt, excite, even threaten. Leatrice Eiseman, a color consultant and author of the forthcoming "More Alive With Color," gives the low-down on what your favorite colors are communicating":

·         Out of the Blue -- Conveys: Faithfulness, tranquility, dependability, sensitivity.

·         Shades of Gray -- Conveys: Seriousness, dependability and stability.

·         Tickled Pink -- Conveys: Love, affection, gentleness, femininity.

·         Red Alert -- Conveys: Strength, power, confidence, passion.

·         Youthful Yellow -- Conveys: Youth, joy, imagination.

·         Black Beauty -- Conveys: Elegance, sophistication, power.

·         Green with Envy -- Conveys: Tranquility, good luck, health.

 

I just read something where they want to (in theory) hook up lie detectors to the poloticians during debates. Hmmm, interesting. But what if they didn't know they were lying?

I've been tossing around and idea of my own. To me, one of the most annoying things about a debate is when the candidates ignore the time limits and keep yapping. I vote we put them inside a glass box with a microphone. When it's your turn, your microphone comes on and a timer starts... then when your time is up, it shuts off. Just an idea....

... more later... why am I typing on this thing so early?????

I love it when I see that your $$ are funding Spa Retreats for some of these big executives right after you bailed them out.... but.. we're in this boat together... and what guy wants a facial... that just sounds bad... hahahahahah! I've got a retreat that you and  can send them on... a nice 8 x 8 cell in Huntsville... all expenses paid... that sounds schweeeet!

PLAY WITH MY POLL

READ IT AND WEEP... LITERALLY!
Men are unhappiest between the ages of 35 and 44, a time when they are most likely to have a mid-life crisis, reports London's Evening Standard of a study conducted by the British government. Sadly, it's not until men reach age 65 that they start enjoying life as much as they did when they were in their late teens and early 20s. Men were asked to score their happiness on a scale of one to 10:

·         Ages 16 to 24: 7.55

·         Ages 35 to 44: 6.8

·         Age 65 and up: 7.65

THIS IS WHEN YOU MIGHT BE TOO INTO FOOTBALL
 One if four men admit they'd give up sex for a month if it guaranteed their favorite football team winning the Super Bowl. And 11% say they'd quit sex "for however long it takes" if their team could be crowned champion. The poll by Are You Romantic.com found that 30% of U.S. guys say sex is better when their team wins but one in 10 confesses it's worse after a loss.

YOU ARE YOUR CELL PHONE
According to a recent survey, people in different parts of the country turn off their cell phones at different places. According to American City Business Journals:

·         Southerners are more likely to switch their cell phones to silent when they enter a church.

·         Midwesterners turn the phones off when they go into a bank.

·         Westerners disable their phones in quiet places, including restaurants, movie theaters, libraries, and classrooms.

·         People who live in the mountains are most likely to turn of their phones in hospitals.

·         People in Chicago, Detroit, Indianapolis, Columbus, Milwaukee, and Cleveland say they won't answer their phones while having a face-to-face conversation with friends or family.

SNOOZE FER YOU
World's Tallest Dad!
The world's tallest man just became the world's tallest dad. China's Bao Xishun is celebrating the birth of his first child, a boy whose initial height seems a compromise between his gigantic dad and average-sized mom. Bao's son measured 22 inches long at birth-- slightly taller than average for newborn children but nothing too extraordinary. Bao, a 7-foot-9-inch herdsman from Inner Mongolia married Xia Shujuan, a pygmy by contrast at 5-foot-6 inches last year. He currently stands as the world's tallest man in the ****ss World Records Book. (Reuters)

Half of You Don't Respect Your Boss
A new online survey says half of Americans do not respect their boss and only half believe they are competent. The study by Randstad USA also found that the growing financial crisis has seen companies focusing more on their bottom line at the expense of relations with employees. Randstad director Eric Buntin said, "Employees' professional development and morale should always be a priority for employers and especially in an economic slowdown when employees may feel additional burdens." Only 43 percent think their boss is open to new ideas and only 47 percent were willing to work overtime to impress their boss and create more job security for themselves. Less than 30 percent believed their bosses were fulfilling their roles as motivators, role models or mentors. (Reuters)

Crazy Like a Fox!
This is one foxy story. In Dover, Tennessee, Tommy Fox was driving home from his job in about 11 p.m. when a beautiful red fox dashed in front of his GMC Jimmy. Unable to stop in time, Fox hit the fox and then pulled over and tossed the dead animal in his backseat thinking he would save the tail as a souvenir. But things took a weird turn when Fox heard a noise from the backseat and realized the fox was indeed still alive -- and not happy. So Fox desperately searched for something to hold the fox back and prevent him from climbing into the front seat and biting him which took his attention off the road. He then crossed the center line and wrecked in a ditch, flipping once and landing upside down. Fox suffered minor injuries and bruises in the crash -- which killed the other fox. Alas, we don't know if Fox got to keep his fox tail. (AHN News)

Florida's Got a Bra Bandit
There's a bra bandit on the loose in southwest Florida. The Lee County Sheriff's Office is searching for an individual they say stole 160 bras valued at nearly $6,000 from a Victoria Secret store. Authorities say 452 bras valued at nearly $19,000 have been stolen from two of the chain's southwest Florida locations since February in six different bra thefts. (Naples Daily News)

Ford Keeps Your Kids From Driving Too Fast
Starting next year, the FORD Company will start offering parents "smart keys" that will limit what their teen drivers can do. With parental controls on, the car will go no faster than 80 miles an hour; the stereo won't go above half-volume; and the driver won't be able to deactivate any of the vehicle's safety systems. Ford spokesman Wes Sherwood said the new "MyKey" system means the parental key will have no restrictions, but the one used by the younger driver will be limited. Ford will set those limitations at the factory, so parents could not impose a 30 mph speed limit on their children. The company decided on 80 mph because the speed limit in some states is 75, and the automaker wanted to leave leeway in case a driver had to speed up to avoid a problem. Sherwood said the system can't stop bad driving but can offer limits to make parents feel better about letting their children borrow the car. (Cleveland Plain Dealer)

Man Dies After Waiting 19 Hours in Emergency Room!
In Parkland, Texas, Mike Herrera's pain was growing as he walked into the emergency room of Parkland Memorial Hospital. He checked himself in and told a nurse about the stabbing sensation in his abdomen. He was then told to take a seat and wait. And wait he did -- FOR 19 HOURS-- and it wasn't until the 58-year-old collapsed in an exam room that the staff seemed to spring into action, his family says. But it was too late. He had suffered a cardiac arrest and died. As doctors tried to revive Mr. Herrera a nephew said, "Why did you all leave him there? You let him die!" Parkland officials say nurses and doctors did everything possible, but they acknowledge it's a problem when patients with symptoms like Mr. Herrera's must wait so long for care. Parkland's president, Ron Anderson said, "There's nothing you can say except just apologize for this happening." Unfortunately, our guess is that apology is not going to be enough. The line for lawyers starts right over there. (The Tennessean)

People Not Affected By the Economic Crisis
While most of us are definitely feeling the effects of the economic crisis, it's always nice to know that there are some people who don't even have to blink. One of those people would be Russian Billionaire Roman Abramovich who is awaiting the delivery of the world's largest private yacht -- something that set him back $354 million! The 500-foot Eclipse is equipped with a missile detector and radar equipment, and has bullet-proof windows and armor plating to protect the 41-year-old owner from pirates. The yacht also has a yellow submarine -- yes a yellow submarine-- which can dive 160 feet below water to escape a pirate attack. It will have cabins for 24 guests, a cinema, aquarium, disco, hospital, twin helipads and will contain a fleet of limousines, which could be easily rolled off through a side door. (Ananova)

 

THE FLIRTING GAME

You can become a winner at the flirting game -- even if you're not a natural tease. All you need to do is learn a few tried-and-true social skills designed to attract others, while signaling that you're interested and available, according to psychologist Dr. Richard Lele.

·         Work on your self esteem -- And in social situations make it perfectly clear that you know you're the prettiest girl in the place, or the hunkiest guy.

·         Smile until you think your face might break -- If someone tells you that they think another girl or guy is perfectly neat, smile and chuckle softly like you're laughing at an inside joke because their taste is so rotten.

·         Think of something playful -- Guys might replay in their mind the "Monday Night Football" blindside tackle that gave the quarterback a concussion. Gals could recall the glee they felt when an old rival came down with chicken pox just before the prom.

·         Compliment others -- Tell that neat guy you love his baggy pants with the beltless prison look and ask if he's ever done hard time.

·         Tell her you've always thought bleach-bottle blondes were prettier -- and more than naturals because they try harder.

·         Keep your body language invitingly open -- Gals can lean forward frequently to make sure their cleavage is appreciated. Guys should let girls know they're interested by playing octopus and using both hands to grope and touch at every opportunity.

·         Be a stimulating conversationalist -- Talk about your ex-boyfriend, who gave you a social disease. Or tell her about what pain your former girlfriend has become because she wants you to help support the kid.

·         Watch carefully to see if all your hard work is being appreciated -- If you see the other person is sending out signals he or she still isn't interested in you look around and loudly yell: "Won't somebody please rescue me from this loser?" Then move to a better prospect.

 YOUR CAR COLOR REVEALS YOUR PERSONALITY

British researchers have determined that the color of your car tells others something about your personality. Granted, this isn't true for every driver on the road, but if you chose the color of your car, check this out to see if it matches your personality.

·         Black: Aggressive personality or someone who is an outsider or rebel. Of all car colors, this is the most likely to be involved in an accident.

·         Silver: Cool, calm and slightly aloof.

·         Green: Hysterical tendencies.

·         Yellow: Idealistic and novelty loving.

·         Blue: Introspective, reflective and cautious.

·         Gray: Calm, sober and dedicated to work.

·         Red: Full of zest, energy and drive; thinks, moves and talks quickly.

·         Pink: Gentle, loving and affectionate.

·         White: Status-seeking extroverts.

·         Cream: Self-contained and controlled. This color car is least likely to be involved in an accident.

YOUR SIGN REVEALS HOW YOU SHOP

A nationwide study of 30,000 people revealed their purchasing patterns are strongly linked to their astrological signs.

·         Aries - You're an impulse buyer. You complain a lot and hate to wait in line.

·         Taurus - You won't be rushed into making decisions. You are very patient in lines.

·         Gemini - You are attracted to gimmicks and gadgets.

·         Cancer - You enjoy buying gifts for other people, and furnishing for your home.

·         Leo - You tend to buy high fashion and brand names.

·         Virgo - You buy lots of health food and related products.

·         Libra -Y ou switch brands at the drop of a hat, but stick to high quality goods.

·         Scorpio - You are loyal to trusted products and dislike flashy new items.

·         Sagittarius - You fall for sales gimmicks and love to buy on impulse.

·         Capricorn - You vary between upmarket brand names and do-it yourself projects.

·         Aquarius - You buy offbeat buy modern things. You adore browsing in junk stores.

·         Pisces - You are a salesman's dream come true because you never complain.

 

I love mornings like today... when at 5 am I just so happened to wake up. Nothing brought me out of my sleep... but for some unknown reason... I was WIDE AWAKE! Did I do something wrong? Did I anger the Gods? Who knows... I tried to make the best of it... although... the only way I could have made the "Best of it" would have been to go back to bed! ha-ha!

DRINK IT UP!
A Harvard University study found people who drink six or more cups of coffee a day are between 17% and 20% less likely to die prematurely than those who don't drink java at all. The positive effect is slightly more pronounced in women than in men, a study of 86,000 gals and 41,000 guys revealed. Other research shows that coffee fights liver cancer, gout, type 2 diabetes and Parkinson's disease. It also combats hardening of the arteries in women. Coffee does cause a rise in blood pressure and heart rate, but don't worry the boost is temporary and doesn't increase the risk of heart disease.

SNOOZE FER U
The Not So Nobel Nobel Awards
You've heard of the Nobel Prize Awards. Well there's another group of awards called the Ig Nobels which honor real research, but are meant as a funny alternative to next week's deadly serious Nobel prizes for medicine, chemistry, physics, economics, literature and peace. Kind of the Anti-Nobels if you will. Awarded by the editors of the Annals of Improbable Research, a scientific humor magazine, the prizes are based on published research, some intended to be humorous but often not. Usually the "honored" researchers go along with the joke. Deborah Anderson of Boston University Medical Center and colleagues were awarded the chemistry prize for a study published in the New England Journal of Medicine that found Coca-Cola kills sperm. She said she was serious in testing the soft drink because women were using it as a contraceptive and, later, to try to protect themselves from the AIDS virus. Anderson said, "It definitely wouldn't work as a contraceptive because sperm swims so fast. But Coke made with real sugar does make sperm just kind of explode." Other winners include scientists who discovered that people will happily eat stale chips if they crunch loudly enough and a team of biologists who ascertained that dog fleas jump farther than cat fleas. (Reuters)

That Elite, Biased Media
Apparently Sarah Palin isn't the only political candidate who feels the media's questions are too tough. An underdog in Sunday's election for governor of Bangkok punched and kicked a television journalist, saying he was provoked by tough questions during a live interview. Chuvit Kamolvisit, dubbed Bangkok's massage parlor king by the Thai press, later apologized for losing his temper and assaulting the host. He said, "I admit I did it. I couldn't stand it when he humiliated me on air." The TV host filed a complaint with police, saying Kamolvisit had "behaved like a thug." (Reuters)

Fun For the Whole Family
An Internet game in which players roam a school and kill kindergarten students with a shotgun has been pulled from a Finnish children's gaming site one week after Finland's worst school shooting. The game, which is actually called "Kindergarten Killer," was a popular download from the site. Last week a 22-year-old man killed 10 people at a vocational school in Kauhajoki. He then shot himself. So let me get this right -- you were okay with this insane game being on the site until someone actually went out and killed people? What is up with our Finish friends? (myway.com)

Creative Resumes
In Ocala, Florida, Bernard LeCorn, gets our creative resume of the month award while running for the local school board. LeCorn declared himself the best-qualified among the three candidates because he was the only one with a doctorate degree. Turns out that doctorate was just something he got from a well-known diploma mill at a cost of $249. Also, it turns out Alabama A&M, a real school where he had claimed to be a faculty member after receiving bachelor's and master's degrees, had never hired him and in fact had enrolled him for only one year. (Star-Banner)

Not Homeland Security's Finest Hour
Eric Aderholt recently lost his house to fire in Rockwell County, Texas -- but it wasn't because the fire department was too slow. They arrived within minutes, but none of the firefighters were aware that all the local hydrants were locked. Apparently, fire departments are given a list of hydrants in rural areas that have been shut off as part of post-9/11 security, and must be turned on with a special tool, which no one brought that night. Texas law even requires shut-off hydrants to be painted black, but the firefighters still arrived without the tool, and by the time they retrieved it, poor Eric's house was gone. (WFAA-TV News)

A Very Bad Boy
In Sydney, Australia, a very naughty 7-year-old boy broke into the Alice Springs Reptile Center and killed 13 animals by feeding them to a large crocodile. Security sensors failed to detect the boy because of his small size but he was seen on video killing three different lizards by bashing them with rocks. He then fed the dead animals to an 11-foot 440-pound saltwater crocodile named Terry. The boy was also seen throwing several live animals into Terry's enclosure. The child will face no disciplinary action, as local law states no child under 10 can be held criminally liable. But the Reptile Center is considering suing the boy's parents. Man -- someone get that kid into a program before he becomes the next Jeff Dahmer! That boy's got some dysfunction at home! (Ananova)

Mother and Daughter: Family Business
There's nothing more wonderful than the love between a mother and daughter. And there's nothing more disturbing than a mother and daughter who prostitute themselves as a team on Craig's List! Yup-- 38-year-old Traci Young and her 22-year-old daughter, Tami Smith, were arrested in Philadelphia for allegedly doing just that. An undercover officer made an appointment with the women, went to their home, and allegedly made an agreement to pay $200 to have sex with both of them. In a televised interview the mom told reporters, "It's a messed up world out there. We have to do this to get by, you know." She also claimed they were only giving massages. Neighbors were caught on camera applauding after the arrest. Apparently many neighbors had complained about the goings-on at the house since the women moved in about a year ago. And just to make this as disgusting as possible-- three young children, aged 3 to 7 lived with the women. The kids were taken by authorities to the Department of Human Services. (Ananova)

THINGS A WOMAN SHOULD NEVER TELL A GUY

·         All the cute things your pet does -- Coddling a pet makes men suspect your ideal companion is completely dependent upon you for food, lets you dress him up in colorful wool sweater, and can be castrated if he starts acting too frisky.

·         Your belief in alternative medicine -- When a woman tells a guy about their experiences with aromatherapy, reflexology, or crystals, all they hear is, "Unstable," "unstable," "unstable."

·         How impressed you are with what others make -- Ogling a man's paycheck makes them feel like you're attaching his worth to his wallet. And he knows there's always going to be someone out there with deeper pockets than his.

·         How beautiful the scenery is -- When confronted by natural beauty men prefer to contemplate it in silence.

·         Who your favorite celebrities are dating -- Men don't care. Men have too hard a time keeping up with their own relationships; the last thing they want is the responsibility of keeping up with the lives of people they'll never meet.

TOP FIVE SIGNS IT'S GOING TO BE A LONG FOOTBALL SEASON

1. In the first game, your team had three sacks---of their own quarterback.
2. Star running back skips down the field.
3. Linebacker calls for a "dirty uniform" timeout.
4. Team refuses to go out after halftime because team mom forgot orange slices.
5. Vultures circle overhead every time there's a team huddle.

HERE ARE FIVE REASONS WHY A GUY MIGHT BREAK UP WITH YOU . . . EVEN IF HE'S INTO YOU:
Ladies . . . tell me if this sounds familiar:  You were seeing some guy for a few weeks and everything was going great . . . until, out of the blue, he told you it was over. 
You were probably hurt and confused . . . right?  Well, here's a list of FIVE reasons why a guy might break things off . . . even if he's into you. 

#1.)  The timing is off.  Women settle down with the guy they want to be with, regardless of the timing . . . but guys get serious with whoever they're dating, once they're ready to settle down. 

It sounds kind of random, right?  But if a guy feels like he needs to graduate from school, or get a good job before he gets married, he won't stick around . . . even if you're perfect. 

#2.)  He's worried you'll turn into a monster.  Guys are trained to fear that the woman they're dating will turn into a nagging shrew the moment he puts a ring on her finger. 

Sometimes the fear is rational . . . and sometimes it's not.  In the end, it doesn't really matter, because if he's even the slightest bit worried it'll happen to YOU . . . chances are he'll cut you loose. 

#3.)  You're more into him than he's into you.  Most guys will stay with a woman if she's fun and hot . . . even if he knows FOR SURE she's not the one. 

But if you tell a guy you love him and he doesn't feel the same way . . . he'll feel guilty and bolt.

#4.)  He's more into you than you are into him.  Guys don't want to feel like they're the "needy" one in a relationship . . . even if they are. 

If a guy doesn't think you're as into him as he is into you, he'll feel like he's lost control of his life . . . and he'll end it to save himself.

#5.)  He's not done playing the field.  Honestly, this is the real reason why a guy who's into you will break up with you about 99.9% of the time.  It just is. 

Most guys feel compelled to pad their resumes by having relations with lots of women.  And, honestly, most guys think they can find someone better than the person they're dating . . . even if they can't.  Sorry . . . but it's true. 
(Cosmopolitan)

So I decided last night that I would try to go through this entire day without complaining. Actually I decided to start on the way home last night. The wonderful traffic on 59 made it hard... but I did it... it seems to be working. I might have to make this a reoccuring thing... hahahah!

I read this story late last night and thought it was funny... I would probably do the same if it were one of my dogs.

 A MAN BEAT UP A SHARK THAT WAS ATTACKING HIS DOG:
Last Friday, 53-year-old Greg LeNoir of Islamorada, Florida (--which is in the Florida Keys), took his two-year-old Rat Terrier, Jake, to the beach for his daily swim in the ocean. 

But after a few minutes in the water, Jake was attacked . . . by a five-foot long SHARK.

So what did Greg do?

He immediately jumped into the water . . . and started punching the shark until it let Jake go.

 Jake suffered cuts on his leg and abdomen . . . but his veterinarian says he's going to be OK.  And Greg . . . this crazy stud . . . escaped the incident without a scratch.   (Miami Herald)

SNOOZE FER YOU, WEDNESDAY EDITION
Take Those Unwanted Kids Straight To Nebraska!
There's a new "Safe Haven" law in effect for Nebraska which is puzzling. The legislature passed a law designed to protect unwanted babies by making it legal for them to be dropped off anonymously at hospitals to discourage abortions and possible neglect by unfit parents. Actually other states have similar laws but what makes Nebraska's unique is their law doesn't apply just to infants but all minors up to age 19! This is because Sen. Tom White said, "All children deserve our protection." Well this month the state got their first two non-infant drop offs as exasperated parents gave up on their rebellious sons aged 11 and 15. (Lincoln Journal Star)

Problems of a Police Papa
In Fayetteville, North Carolina, 19-year-old Joey Bergamine is preparing for a re-trial in on a DUI charge stemming from a July 2007 incident. Joey plans to argue that he should have been advised of his right to have a lawyer present when his father kicked open his bedroom door hours after the incident to help police officers who had come to question him. Complicating the incident even further is the fact that Joey's dad also just happens to be the police chief of Fayetteville. Joey's lawyer is claiming that entering a locked room, as well as the subsequent interrogation, constituted "police" action and not "parental" action, and since his dad failed to "Mirandize" him, the charge should be dismissed. (Fayetteville Observer)

Naked Barbie Pictures Will Teach 'Em!
In Oshkosh, Wisconsin, 43-year-old Christopher Sullivan was arrested as the person who allegedly sent his upstairs neighbors threatening packages. Those packages included a Polaroid photo of three naked Barbie dolls with their heads cut off. So why'd he do it? Sullivan later told police that he was angry that the couple was too loud when they had sex. (The Northwestern)

Criminal Stupidity At Its Finest
Not to make light of a very tragic situation, but 25-year-old Michael Mahoney of Somerville, Massachusetts may be the very dumbest criminal that ever lived. According to police, Mahoney thought he was such hot stuff that he actually gave his phone number to the female victim he just raped -- feeling positive his performance had charmed her into wanting more. So it was pretty easy for police to track the phone number to Mahoney's parent's house -- where he was living -- and arrest him. (Boston Herald)

Death By Hot Sauce
33-year-old Andrew Lee was an aspiring chef in Edlington, England. We say "was" because Andrew is no longer with us. He died after eating super-hot chili sauce as part of an endurance challenge with a friend. He was challenged by his girlfriend's brother to see who could eat the spiciest sauce that he could prepare. He made the sauce from tomatoes and red chilies grown in his father's garden. At first he complained of itching and severe discomfort. He was later found dead by his girlfriend and believed to have died of heart attack during sleep. (Ananova)

The Most Interesting Jail Cell in the World
Here's one reality prison show we'd actually love to see. In Romania, Judge Ioan Lazar was convicted of corruption and taking bribes. So the judge in his case gave him the ultimate sentence -- to serve out his time in the same cell as the man Judge Lazar sent to prison for armed robbery. A prison source said, "He had no recollection of his cell-mate when he met him in jail but the convict certainly remembered him. He took great delight in telling the judge who he was and that it was the judge who put him away for an armed robbery." We don't have too many more details except that Judge Lazar keeps begging for solitary confinement. We can't imagine why. (Ananova)

SELF'S WAYS TO NOT GET SICK

·         Become a clean freak. Wash your hands or slap on some sanitizer as often as you can.

·         Restrict your air space. The Center for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta says the droplets in sneezes and coughs can travel 3 to 6 feet. Step away from hackers so you don't inhale their bugs.

·         Bundle up. You can't catch a cold from cold weather, but feeling chilly may dampen your immunity.

·         Get vaccinated. You'll reduce your risk of infection as much as 80%.

·         Don't touch your face. Most viruses gain entry to your body through your nose, eyes and mouth.

·         Bring your own pen. Avoid using any pen handed to you at a store.

·         Put on your sneakers. That quick walk in the park will increase circulation of your immune cells, improving their ability to detect and fight infection.

And get this -- your desk is probably dirtier than the office bathroom, says Charles Gerba, Ph.D., professor of environmental microbiology at the University of Arizona at Tucson. Toilet seats are usually the cleanest objects in an office because they get cleaned nightly. The worst offenders:

·         Telephone

·         Desktop

·         Computer mouse

·         Keyboard

·         Copy machine

·         Fax machine

·         Water fountain

·         Kitchenette sponge

·         Lobby elevator button

TEN THINGS MEN WILL SAY TO GET YOU IN BED

Ladies, don't fall for these:  or do… hahahaah - DJ

1.       The Pity Ploy -- Often used by the recently-split-up-with-girlfriend guy looking to score. He'll cry about how devastated he is, swear he never wants to have sex again - and then stick his hand up your top.

2.       The "It's Late, Why Not Sleep Here?" Creep -- A favorite of men who live far away, this consists of conning you into coming back to their place.

3.       The "I've Got A Big One, Baby" Bull -- This guy spreads rumors that he's hung like a horse in order to get a date.

4.       The Red-Hot Lover Ruse -- He'll make subtle comments like, "Sleeping with me will be the single most awesome sexual experience of your life, baby." And he knows that if he keeps on chipping away you may end up sleeping with him, just to be sure you're not missing out.

5.       The Get-Her-Drunk-Skunk -- Guys are taught this maneuver young. There are three main angles: (1) Coercing you into drinking alcohol when you usually drink something else; (2) Challenging you to match him, drink for drink; (3) Buying all the drinks.

6.       The Doing-Your-Best-Friend Doozie -- If a guy can't get directly into your pants he'll have sex with your best friend and hope it makes you jealous.

7.       The "I Bought You Dinner" Winner -- Yes, there's still the odd man out there who thinks that just because he bought you dinner, you're supposed to jump into the sack with him.

8.       The "I-Can't-Get-It-Up" Goodie -- Guys say this in hopes of coercing a woman into taking it as a challenge to get this guy aroused.

9.       The "Hey, I Forgot I'm Gay" Hoodwink -- The aim here is to lull you into a false sense of security before leaping on you, claiming, "I don't know what came over me." This way, you'll feel smug that even gay guys can't keep their hands off you.

10.   The "You're Not My Type" Hype -- This is the most cunning scam of all, employing those old favorites - reverse psychology and feminine pride. Every woman loves a challenge, and if he tells you you're not his type enough times, you'll be dying to show him how wrong he is.